Hansel and Gretel, Conclusion

As we loaded their luggage into the Jaguar Monday morning, Hansel and Gretel seemed truly sad to be leaving, with Gretel imploring, "So after the meeting with my agent you must come with us to Taos, darlings!" Yes, our new artist friends' old world sensibilities and perspective were interesting but enough already.







"Thanks, perhaps another time, Gretel. Good luck with your meeting and remember to check out Canyon Road in Sante Fe."







As soon as they left I hurried into the guest room to strip the beds. Immediately I spotted something ominous in an open drawer, "Oh, no V, they left something!"







"What?"







"It's...they're gonna be back here for these things after the meeting. We have to act quickly."







"What do you mean?"



"Look at this! Three gargantuan busenhalters, they have to be what, 48 DDD's? I have to get them down to the agent's office fast."







As I sped back to the gallery office where they were meeting with the butcher, I punched on old-school FM 92.3 hoping to hear Carl Carlton praising his bad mama jama: "Look at her!....she's beeelt, she's stacked....she's a bad mama jama....oh she's bad....woo hoo....perfect in every dimension, sho nuff gettin' attention..." Well, in this instance maybe not perfect in every dimension. And perhaps getting too much attention right now.







As I entered the gallery I could see Hansel and Gretel being lectured by the butcher in his back office. Hoping to avoid detection, I tiptoed to the receptionist's desk and whispered, "Would you be good enough to make sure Hansel and Gretel get this when they are finished. It's very important. Thanks so much." As I turned to leave a chorus erupted, "Chahles, Chahles! We have lunch, yah? Just wait!"

"So sorry, gotta run. Parking meter! Wiedersehen!"

Back at home by mid-morning V and I threw ourselves into bed, fatigued beyond measure. We fell asleep instantly.


We couldn't have been asleep for very long when the doorbell started clanging. The dog was barking excitedly and through the open dining room window by the front door we heard a familiar voice, "Wie gehts meine kleine Titian hund!"


"V, they're back!"

"Oh we just can't! Do something!"

As I staggered out of bed, in the absence of a functioning neocortex my instinct for self preservation kicked in. All I knew was that the outer defences had been breached and the enemy was standing at the front door......and it was....unlocked! I had to secure the front door!To complicate matters, for me to lock the front door I had to pass by the open windows of the dining room through which the Wehrmacht could easily see me. Instinctively I dropped to all fours and then like a commando in black face skirting barbed wire on Iwo Jima I crawled on my stomach across the dining room floor under the windows to the front door, locked it and crawled back to the bedroom and into bed. Whew, mission accomplished, disaster averted.

From outside the house the entreaties continued, "Halloooo! Chahles and V, are you there? You must come to Taos with us!"

From within, the cowards pulled the bed covers over their heads and crossed their fingers.




FIN